I realized I was a lesbian while playing BitLife on the toilet in the middle of nowhere, Nevada. 

Earlier that morning, I’d taken a shit on top of somewhere called Mexican Hat National Monument, cuz I just couldn’t hold it. 

Now I was in a much different kind of shit, a big ol’ gay shit. 

It hit me 

like a gas station burrito at the top of a racist landmark 

when I realized that in all my various Bit Lives, 

I was only choosing Bit Wives. 

To be clear, I already knew I was queer,  

But to know I was a lesbian? That’s a whole ‘nother ball game, my friend. 

I was clinging to panromantic asexual by my fucking teeth,  

trying not to think too hard about loving or fucking 

I stopped biting that day, I accepted defeat. 

I accepted that I wanted women and women alone 

wanted them in every way, every position, 

with my hands, tongue, feet, eyes, spine, and foramen magnum 

I wanted women more than I wanted to be a woman. 

Now isn’t that a fucking pickle. 

If it wasn’t for that morning, shitting on top of a racist national monument, 

and later, in a less racist toilet at the back of a Mexican restaurant, 

I might still be panromantic asexual 

So, thank you, BitLife. 

And God bless America